Scientists warn about Global Cooling

Warning: This is a satire article and so the following article must be read keeping in mind that it poses all the opposites of what is happening really. This article aims to create awareness of GLOBAL WARMING through creating a spoof. There’s nothing really global cooling taking place, on the contrary global warming is persisting.

Washington: A core group of Scientist who are working at the UN’s environmental engineering group has raised concern about the level of decrease in earth’s CO₂ level and the impending global cooling. They observed that the earth’s temperature is steadily decreasing, due to the heavy release of Oxygen into the atmosphere. They have predicted that there will be ice bergs/ sheet formation until the Tropic of Cancer in the northern hemisphere and up to the Tropic of Capricorn in the southern hemisphere in 2020 if the increasing O₂ rate continues as of now.

            They called for the immediate intervention by the world leaders in tackling the problem which may lead to the extinction of life on earth. “The main reason is extensive advancement/ encroachment of human living areas by the forests and Wild animals. Also the absorbing of the CO₂ from the atmosphere by major industries to produce their products and the release of O₂ as the byproduct” said P. Re versa, a member of the committee. He cited example of a man in living near Nevada Desert, “that poor man was living in a just 10 room posh bungalow, having only mediocre facilities like Wi-Fi internet connection, plasma TV and a BMW car. In an overnight, he found his house encroached with full of green trees, and wild animals such as a full grown Hippopotamus. He had no choice but to leave that place and shift. He at some point of time tried to reclaim his area, only to be chased out again by those merciless animals”

            Mr. K.R. Wallace, head of the group said “Government should encourage logging, also the level of CO₂ absorbed by the industries are continuously increasing putting a strain on our fragile environment”. He accused the developed nations for being biased and selfish at absorbing High amount of CO₂ to develop their economy and in turn forcing the developing nation to cut their absorption's in various environmental crisis meet. “Logging is the only way, if the trees encroach on our area then where will we go? Also there is that photosynthesis in plants which absorbs CO₂ from air to produce its energy and release pure O₂ as the final product. It should be stopped” he said. “As far as the wild animals are concerned they should be hunted down until they are proven that they are “threatened” or “vulnerable to extinction”. After that the species will be considered for preservation and artificial breeding methods to increase its number again to be hunted. This cycle will continue” Mr. Wallace said.

            Mr. and Mrs. Clause, a resident of New York are very worried about the findings. “If it goes this way, we will be forced to live in an igloo in summer and battle polar bears” Mr. Clause lamented. Mr. Clause’s family is a nuclear family, and his mother stays/dumped in an old age home and their twin children’s are at a crèche where they will grow until 18 and after that live an independent life. But being a good son and father, he doesn’t forget to visit them on Mother’s day and Children’s day respectively. Mrs. Clause is battling anorexia, and is advised by doctors to eat pizzas, burgers and high cholesterol food and stay glued to the TV. 

Warning: This is a satire article

LONDON OLYMPICS 2012 LOGO

        London Olympics, which is now less than a year has a unique logo comprises of four broken blocks representing the year of 2012, each jagged with sharp edges. The block representing the number “2” has the city name London, written in a lower case. While the block representing the number “0” has the International Olympic Committee symbol of five intertwined circles i.e. Olympic rings. This symbol has the pride of being unveiled five years before the Olympic event itself in 2007. Thus, it also acts as the torchbearer (not physical) for the entire Olympic event as it is the only thing that would come to anyone’s mind when they think of this global event.

            And so the organizing committee took pains to create this piece of art that they say it conveys to the world their “openness, invitation” to the various global community to take part in the games. This logo is the result of £400,000 and designed by the Wolff Olins. It is said that it is aimed at the youth and “young people”. The design is lauded by the organizing committee and the persons who designed it but the public reaction to it is from mild to negative and hardly positive. Many observers panned the logo as a broken “Swastika” and even compared it to a sexual indulgence of a cartoon character. Not to forget a version of Swastika is the symbol of Hitler’s Nazi Regime. So there was widespread negative publicity. Iran came to the point of complaining to the IOC about the similarities of the Logo to the word “Zion” and threatened to pull out of the game but later it revoked. The logo is very bright in color unlike various former Olympics logo and modern too, resembling none of the cultural significance of the world’s biggest kingdom. An animation video released along with the logo caused seizures in number of people with photosensitive epilepsy triggering the cut down of the shot.

            

              The symbol devoid of neither any cultural significance, nor any relation to sporting activity except the Olympic rings is a letdown to many including me. So I thought of creating my own logo for the grand event. It is composed of both the number 2012 and the word London. The first and last three of the word London is made to resemble the year 2012 and also the word “LO” of the London resemble a person active in a sport either running, throwing a disc or a ball. It also depicts an open arm inviting people to come and join the grand sporting event. The four Pink stripe found over the letter N and O represents the four United Countries; England, North Ireland, Scotland and Wales which constitute the United Kingdom. London, which is the capital of the United Kingdom is the painted first “O” colored Pink, with a white dot representing “London Eye”

            

          I don’t hate the original logo, just that it didn’t reached my expectation. I know the hard work the persons involved would have undergone to create that logo. But it could have been better. I just don’t want people to remember that broken piece of glass as the reminder of one of the best Olympic Games that is going to occur at an international city of London.

            I have no idea with which software did the designer created the logo, but I have done my version of the logo with the help of simple Paint Brush application of the windows XP OS in a matter of a day so it wouldn't be as sharp and clear as the original. Though I would be happy if the concerned authorities provide me at least half of the £400,000 they spent on the original London Olympic Logo. J